Heart Advice for a Stupid Holiday



I don’t think I need to tell you why I think Valentine’s day is just stupid.

Nope. Not even gonna start.

But I will say this time of year is often hard. Sometimes we need a little help lifting our spirits.

It’s okay to crowdsource your joy.

We get by with a little help from our friends.

I try to surround myself with decent folks. Partnered, single, divorced, married, a whole range of humans. I asked my friends what they needed to hear right now.

Here’s what a few of my wise, thoughtful, and all around incredible peeps had to say:


  • You are enough. Period. You don’t need someone to complete you.


  • Your yoga practice doesn’t have to be badass to be valuable. 3 minutes of childs pose while sobbing into the floor with an inconsolable teething infant is still a yoga practice.


  • Don’t be afraid to date yourself.🖤 Go to brunch, see a movie, watch the sun set and the moon rise. Buy yourself flowers if that lights you up.


  • My hate affair with Valentine’s Day began in high school – I just always felt left out and the singlest of single, and working at Walmart on this day was always a mess. In college, I decided I’d make that day about me. I would wear black because all these other jerks are wearing my favorite color (red) and I wasn’t about to participate. I would also eat pizza with no guilt attached and watch my favorite movie, Wayne’s World. And you know what? I really started looking forward to this day each year, so much so that I still find time to squeeze in my little tradition of watching Wayne’s World and eating what I want while also taking the time to do the whole VD thing (snicker) with my hubby. Self love never stops being important.


  • Take time to remember all the people you love and who love you. It doesn’t need to be about romance.


  • Parenting advice – the best thing you can do for your kids is live a fulfilling life. That way you won’t be tempted to unload your personal frustrations and unrealistic expectations on them. If you’re doing that (taking care of you), then I promise your parenting is okay. Cut yourself some slack and enjoy Valentine’s Day however you like!


  • Do something nice for you and the people you love. Valentine’s Day isn’t about couples, it’s about love in general.


  • You don’t have to be better. You just get to love who you are right now.


I especially adore that last one. You get to love who you are right now. Do not let anyone (even that painful little voice that lives in your head) tell you otherwise. You are complete, you are whole, and you are worthy of your own love.

Shit, start with acceptance. You don’t even have to love you yet.

But you are WORTHY of it.






Photo by NordWood Themes on Unsplash



Your 2018 Oracle

The New Year has come. 2017 was a wild one for so many of us. Now that 2018 is here (and appears to be here to stay) it’s a good time to look at your desires. What do you truly want from this year? What is yours to do? This oracle is meant to give… Continue Reading

Your Summer Solstice Oracle

  Summer is a time for flow. Follow the rhythms of the world around you. But if you find yourself swept up in the busy side of summer, give yourself permission to stop! Rest when you need to rest. For folks in the Southern Hemisphere, the opposite may be true! Sometimes when the nights are… Continue Reading

Work in Progress

You provide value in the world. You make the world a better place, just by being here. We need YOU. So, if you’re having a shit day, know this. You’re here. The world is a little radder just because of that. Now that we have that outta the way… What’s one thing you can do… Continue Reading

Mixtape: Get Through.

  I wasn’t going to share this playlist. It isn’t about being positive in the wake of the hard shit. It isn’t about turning your face to the sun when all you want to do is weep. It’s about getting through by actually feeling what you’re feeling. Not cramming it down. Not ignoring it. Not… Continue Reading

Desire Map Licensed Facilitator