If you’re dealing with loss this holiday season: I see you. I feel you.
I’m right there with you.
It’s okay that it isn’t okay.
This is what I’m doing to get through. I hope it helps you as much as it’s helping me.
Give yourself permission.
To go a wee bit crazy. To eat/drink/netflixbinge your feelings (But if you have addiction, please fortheloveofeverything call a sober support first.) To cry a lot. To not buy gifts. To buy ALL THE GIFTS.
Leave.
Game faces crack, and it’s okay to bounce from a holiday gathering if you just. can’t. even.
Stay.
If you can’t be alone, stay and let them support you. Commiserate.
Remember.
Look at old photos. Tell stories. Laugh, cry, repeat. It’s okay to feel what you are feeling. Missing someone is part of a long and winding process.
Talk to a supportive person.
Your therapist, a trusted companion, a stranger. You never know what kind of insight someone else might have for you. Even if you only need them to listen. I have different people I go to for different kinds of support. It’s okay to lean on someone you trust for a little while.
Do the damn self-care.
There are plenty of ways to get some self-care in your day. My new favorite: baths with milk, epsom salt, honey and rose petals. Sometimes self care looks luxurious. Sometimes it looks like folding the laundry. Just do one thing every day that will make you feel grounded, supported and maybe even a little badass.
Allow yourself to grieve.
It won’t always be like this. But in my experience, letting yourself feel all the feels is the only way to get through it.
Here’s to that which we lost. May we honor both the shadow, and the light.
