I feel ya.
Sometimes I feel like I’m not much of an adult. I have a mortgage, a car lease, and student loans out the wazoo, but I’m still waiting for someone to show me how to be a grownup.
Clearly. After all, I just typed the word wazoo. And giggled at the autocorrect suggestions.
One thing I’m pretty good at? Goalsetting. Not your boring lose 20 lbs, wear a size _____, make more money goals.
I’m talking real goals.
Goals that make ya feel good.
That’s why we try to lose weight, make more money or do whatever it is on our super adulty to-do list.
We want to feel good, and we think that All Important Goal will get us there.
What if I told you that’s bullshit?
I’ve gained and lost hundreds of pounds. I’ve done all sorts of workouts and diets, and none of it brought me joy.
Not that really, truly, down in my bones joyful.
And that’s what we crave.
So right now, these are my health goals:
I shoot for 60 grams of whole food protein and eating locally grown vegetables every day. But still I eat what I want to eat. I’m a sucker for potato chips. And popcorn.
I walk. I shoot for every day. Walking is good for my body and my super busy brain. If I don’t feel like walking, I’ll ride my cruiser.
She’s so sweet, and keeps me moving in style.
Notice the use of the phrase “shoot for.”
It ain’t accidental. I try to do these things, but if I don’t…oops.
Shoot for it, but don’t be a jerk to yourself if ya don’t make it. Try again next time.
I do these things because they feel good.
Now, I understand that not everything in life is gonna feel good. Life is too big and glorious, too beautifully messy for that.
But it is possible to do things that feel good and create lasting benefits in your life.
And all that adulting crap?
Yeah, you’ll still need to do it. But you’ll have a great place to start from.
You’ll pay off that debt because it will free you up to take a trip. Or you’ll take the trip and then work on the debt when you get back.
I’m not gonna tell ya which one is right. You know what’s right for you, even if you think you don’t.
You’ll figure it out.
Think about it. What’s a goal that will feel good in the doing? If it doesn’t feel worth it while you’re working on it…maybe it isn’t.
Life is precious.
I’m not sayin quit your job, quit paying your bills or quit doing the things that you need to do.
I’m saying stop setting goals that suck. Paying your utility bill isn’t a goal. It’s just something you do.
And as for your goals…
Do more things that ignite you. What makes your eyes light up when you talk about it? What makes you laugh? What’s the thing you can’t wait to do next?
Make a goal that involves that. Make a goal that is it’s own reward.
- At least once a week, I’ll connect with someone I enjoy.
- I’m going to walk or ride my bike daily because the sun feels so good on my skin.
- I’ll try that new sushi place I’ve been so curious about.
Suddenly, all that adult shit might seem a little more doable. Because you’ve honored that kid inside that says “I wanna do this instead!”
She isn’t wrong.
She wants to be heard. She needs to be heard.
So listen. Maybe even do what she says.
And when you’re done, go pay the damn utility bill.
pssst…need more help?
I’m enrolling a few 1 to 1 clients. Together you and I will move, step by gentle step, through a process of figuring out what you want from your life…and how to get it. You do know what you want. You just need a little help figuring it out.
And when you’ve figured out how you want to feel, you’ll create goals based on your individual wants, needs, and desires. I’ll be there to help you along the way, giving guidance and showing you how to implement on your terms.
It’s part coaching, part teaching, part accountability, part buddy-for-hire.
Want to learn more, or are curious if we’d make a good fit? Click here to schedule your free discovery session.